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Father and Son, and Depression


I've just embarked on taking a new drug in an attempt to get my migraines under some sort of control (more about that here) and the notes that came with it say I may notice a "change in your mood or experience feelings of depression".

Later it goes on to say this affects between 1 in 10 and 1 in 100 users so it's not that common but it got me thinking about the only time in my life when I think I was genuinely depressed.

There were good reasons for it: a long term relationship had just ended, my Land Rover had been written off in a fire, I'd had an accident on my bicycle which left me with cracked ribs the week before Christmas, I spent Christmas day at home on my own in some pain, and there were other factors too which I won't recount here as the people involved are still about. Suffice it to say that January, never my favourite month, found me in a very black mood1.

Although, like most people I suspect, I do have the odd black day it doesn't last but this was different and it carried on for several weeks.

In that time I discovered several things.

One was that I think I came to appreciate some of the attractions of anorexia as lost my appetite and found that being hungry actually seemed to make me feel better in a kind of black and twisted way.

The second and perhaps the oddest is that I developed a maudlin fascination with one song: a cover version of Cat Steven's "Father and Son" by Francis Dunnery. This is pretty obscure stuff, I can't find it on YouTube so you'll have to accept my description of it as an English accented re-working of the Steven's classic.

I used to play it over and over and sob my eyes out.

Listening to it again tonight I can sort of see why, but it's a huge stretch to see it's relevance to where I was then.

Funny thing depression. Let's not go there.

  1. Thankfully it didn't last long: in February I met Beth and everything changed for the better. Reader, I married her ;-)

Tags: Beth, health, music Written 18/03/11

Previous comments about this article:

On 18/03/11 at 9:56pm Kate wrote:

'Reader, I married her'. So, is it a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a Land Rover must be in want of a wife (with one too)?

On 18/03/11 at 10:59pm Paul wrote:

Yup. That's how we met: in a Land Rover forum. I think I really fell in love with her when she turned up for the weekend with her welder to guide me through cutting off the back quarter of the chassis off my Landie (which I'd bought back from the insurers) and then welded in a replacement for me. What a woman!

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