On being in hospital

Someone of CIX is stuck in hospital for a while after being taken ill and asked for some heartening stories and tips. This is my reply:

Oh lordy. Sorry to hear that but at least you're still with us which is a Good Sign.

As for heartening stories and tips I've done the long stay in hospital thing a couple of times (seven weeks and three operations was my longest) so here's some thoughts.

Nurses are (in general at least) complete sweethearts who are underpaid and overworked. So long as you're nice to them they will do the very best they can for you to get you well. For example I had one who flirted with me outrageously which, when you're nineteen and quite ill, is actually very cheering (she was, it transpired later, happily engaged to be married ;-)).

Once you can eat proper food then, although hospital food is OK in a school meal sort of way, the best way to cheer yourself up is to get your visitors to bring you your very favourite foods - the sort of things you seldom get to eat normally. Exploit your friends mercilessly - you're ill, you can do that without guilt and it makes them feel better anyway, especially as it's always hard to know what to being people (and how many bloody grapes can you eat!). I ate a lot of cream apple turnovers while in Frimley Park. Don't worry about calories: you need them now.

When I was last but one in (only for a week that time) I had a teddy bear. OK, so I was 42 but frankly I didn't give a damn. I slept better with some company. So I recommend teddy bears (for suppliers see friends above ;-)). It also gives you someone to talk to in the wee small hours.

Talking of which I always keep ear plugs in my wash kit, a hangover from my days of going to parties and sleeping over. You may well be in a private room at the moment but if there's any risk of you ending up on an open ward then ear plugs are a lifesaver at night as I discovered the last two times. Again you know where to look for supplies!

Oh, and in retrospect a good measure of how well you are is how bored you are. So if you're feeling bored that's a good sign (when you're ill you tend to be far to busy sleeping and your brain is only idling even when awake).